Jenny Emerson and Luke Hill talk about both the joys and challenges of adopting children. We discuss adopting, being adopted, open adoptions, and how to initiate the adoption process. An anonymous mom shares a story about her experiences about being adopted and giving up a child. What supports are needed to help with the transition of welcoming a new person into your family?
Jenny has been involved in the Family and Children’s Services training Pride Program for four years. She talks about adopting her own children: one as a baby and one as a three and a half year old.
Luke is a trainer and Resource Parent for Family and Children’s Services. He has one adopted child and one birth child. His family is currently on the list to adopt another child.
Aired live on Sunday, September 19, 2010 8 to 9 AM Eastern on www.CFRU.ca 93.3 FM in Guelph, Ontario, Canada
A mother writes: My friends in school would talk about the time when they were born, their weight etc. I always answered I don’t know. Then I had to explain that I was adopted. Some kids would say things like ” Oh. Your Mother didn’t want you so she gave you away “. Those kinds of comments are very hurtful. I thought that thought on my own. I also wondered who I looked like, where I get my height from, my eyes etc. Why didn’t my Mother love me? What did I do wrong? I found these times very difficult.
During the last month of my pregnancy, I stayed at a home for unwed mothers. Even then, things were kept secret. After I gave birth, I had the choice to see my baby or not. I was allowed to hold him and feed him. We had a very special bond. He was the first thing in my life that I was truly related to by blood. He was mine. He was my son. Two days later I left the hospital without him. I felt as if I was abandoning him. That was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. I was walking away from my own child. Some people consider that to be a very selfish act. I’m not sure about that. Giving a child what is best for them is an act of love. I realized in time just how much my Mother must have loved me in order to have given me up for another family to raise.
Adoption is not a bad word or a bad thing. It comes from a place of pure unselfish love. Every one involved in this process, whether giving up or bringing in a child, needs support and understanding both during and after the process in order to heal. It doesn’t matter if you are related by blood or not. A family is chosen by our hearts.