Show 117 – Our Vital Attachment Needs with Shoshana Hayman

Attachment is an essential human need, perhaps more important than food. 


You’ve likely heard of Attachment Parenting. According to Attachment Parenting International, “Attachment Parenting is an approach to child rearing that promotes a secure attachment bond between parents and their children. Attachment is a scientific term for the emotional bond in a relationship. The attachment quality that forms between parents and children, learned from the relational patterns with caregivers from birth on, correlates with how a child perceives – and ultimately is able to experience – relationships.”



This interview goes deeper than Attachment Parenting.


Shoshana Hayman, mother of 6 children and grandmother of 14, parent educator, consultant, and Certified Childbirth Educator, gives concrete examples of the six roots of attachment and the troubles that can occur when attachment is disordered.



Shoshana Hayman is a Faculty Member of the Neufeld Institute, Director of Life Center, and lecturer at the Lander Institute Jerusalem Academic College. Shoshana is a parent educator, consultant, and Certified Childbirth Educator. She is the mother of 6 children and grandmother of 14. Her daughter, Elana, works with Shoshana. Shoshana’s family continues to be her greatest source of joy, fulfillment and insight into how children can grow up to be fulfilled, responsible and caring individuals.


I met Shoshana Hayman in LinkedIn when she commented on this video I shared: “Developmental psychologist Gordon Neufeld discusses the role attachment plays during a child’s development. He sat down with host Cheryl Jackson at the KMT Child Development and Community Conference in Toronto.”


According to his website, Dr. Gordon Neufeld‘s approach “is an integrated developmental approach rooted in depth psychology, grounded in the developmental paradigm, saturated in attachment theory, congruent with current neurological research and honed by forty years of professional practice, parenting and personal reflection”.

The Neufeld Institute uses developmental science to reconnect parents and teachers with their natural instinct to be in the driver’s seat with regards to their own children.

Rather than being a “how to” approach, Dr. Neufeld proposes a “how to see” approach.


“My kids don’t listen to me”, “My kids are defiant and uncooperative!”, “I’m worried she’s getting in trouble with her friends.” and “He’s such a bully!” are some of the troubles parents and teachers encounter when their children are out of attachment with them. Attachment is probably the most important thing a parent can learn about to get back into right relationship with their children. This helps the child’s brain to rest in an optimal environment so that he can grow and develop. Right relationships and soft hearts make us resilient adults who are able to have intimate relationships with the ones we love.


Aired live: Sunday, March 17th, 2013 0800-0900 Eastern Standard Time on CFRU 93.3 FM, Guelph, Ontario, Canada

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