Show 114 – Taking Power Struggles out of Parenting

Taking power struggles out of parenting: How we can change our defensive reactions, set limits, be firm and open so that we raise responsive, competent, respectful, appreciative, and genuinely happy kids.


Sharon Strand Ellison is a grandmother, mother and the Executive Director of the Institute for Powerful Non-Defensive Communication (IPNDC). She is an internationally recognized communication consultant, an award-winning speaker and the author of Taking the War Out of Our Words. Sharon, with her daughter, Ami Atkinson, produced the award-winning audiobook, Taking Power Struggle Out of Parenting. Sharon is a pioneer in developing methods for eliminating defensiveness so people can communicate with constructive power. As early as the 1970’s she began developing unique programs, taking her sessions out of the office and into home, school and playground environments where she taught on-the-spot parent, teacher, and peer relationship skills.

You can connect with Sharon by email sharon @, phone 541.593.4426 or learn more by visiting Specifically, go to and visit THE LEARNING ROOM for lots of helpful tips and stories.





  • Defensiveness: What is it? How do we ask questions or make statements that make others react defensively? Do people know when they are being defensive?
  • The mind set, the heart set, and the skill set of non-defensiveness.
  • How we can change our reactions from defensive to non-defensive. What does that look and feel like?
  • How can we get unhooked when we perceive an attack from others so that we can ask questions, decide which pieces we agree with (if any), which ones we don’t agree with, and proceed with curiosity?
  • Will others “walk all over us” if we are non-defensive?
  • Can a person defend him/herself without getting into a power struggle?
  • How does this process work with limit setting?
  • Find out how this process works in specific situations
  • How do we take power struggles out of parenting?




Go to and visit THE LEARNING ROOM for lots of helpful tips and stories in written and audio forms.


Stories by parents and grandparents who used the skills with their children (many only heard the CDs)


Audio clips from Sharon’s CDs. The last 5 or six are about families/parents and kids:


A home page for families, with links to more information about Sharon’s work and comments from parents.


Information about Sharon Ellison’s background and my work with Powerful Non-Defensive Communication (PNDC):


The introduction to Sharon’s book, which tells the story of how she developed the process starting with ideas she had as a child:


A summary sheet that has (a) the six defensive modes and (b) the steps to the non-defensive communication process:


Aired live: Sunday, February 24th, 2013 0800-0900 Eastern Standard Time on CFRU 93.3 FM, Guelph, Ontario, Canada


Listen to Pod Cast (click on the link to listen or save this MP3 to your computer)








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