I’ve had the very fortunate experience of being in a healthy long-term relationship with my husband for twenty-four years. I’m deeply devoted to him and our four children. In the early years, we would stay up late some nights sharing what we envisioned for each other and ourselves, especially when we disagreed.
I asked him recently, “Why is it we make great partners?” He reminded me that, since the beginning, we trust we can work out our differences. I said with surprise, “How is it that neither of us grew up in families like that?” We both grew up in an era when kids were seen and not heard, parents were the boss, spanking was commonplace, and gender roles were carved in stone. Today, our kids have a voice, parents use power with care, and there are no gender roles except for birth and breastfeeding.
Our relationship, like others, sometimes feels blissful and sometimes really hurts. Most of the time we take turns taking care of each other so that we avoid burn out. Some days are easier to do this than others. Creating the container of love and trust is a vital foundation for our family. When I talk with other families who seem to ride the waves of joy and chaos with relative ease, this foundation is a common thread. It’s more than trust. It seems to be as basic as life itself.
Whether you consider yourself lucky in love or looking for someone special, read a blog written by my dear friend and author Julie Wise that will help you intentionally create a relationship that makes your heart sing and keeps your flame alive.